A tactic for navigating contrary views

In a world where opposing views often lead to confrontation or shutdowns, what if you knew how to keep the conversation going in a productive way? What if you could minimize defensiveness and foster collaboration instead?

That's what we're tackling in today's Two-Minute Tip. Leverage the simple strategy shared in this video to calm emotions and pave the way for healthy dialogue.

• Read the video transcript

  I was working with a client recently who has fairly strong opinions, is not afraid to voice his thoughts, and he is currently working on his collaboration skills with his team. And I want to share a quick tip from that conversation.

  So when you are in a conversation with someone and they come in with a different perspective, an opposing view, that feels pretty frustrating to you, typically one of two things will happen.

  A, if you have a fairly direct communication style, chances are you gear up for battle and you are ready to go head to head and defend your position on the matter.

  Or B, if you have more of an indirect communication style, maybe you shut down, you back away and close off from the conversation altogether.

  Well, unfortunately, both options A and B don't really get us to the end results that we want with the other person. And so instead, an alternative approach would be simply to invite the other person to share more about their perspective.

  "Huh? I'm not so sure I fully understand what you're saying. Could you tell me more?" Or, "I'm not so sure that I fully agree with what you're sharing, but I want to understand more. Tell me more about what you're thinking."

  Very simple phrases to invite them to maintain the mic and share some more. And what happens when we do this is A, it slows down our reaction. It gives us a chance to slow down and calm that emotional brain, reengage the thinking brain, and be able to kind of recalibrate before we respond.

  And then, B, it also helps them feel valued and heard in the conversation, right? They get a chance to share even more and so this will make them softer and more open to hear our response in the end. It also hopefully will just put some more information out on the table that would be helpful in this debate.

  So next time you feel the sense or the need to either shut down or go into battle, slow down, pause and simply ask them to tell you more about their perspective on this. Invite them into the conversation.