What Your Sideline Personality Says About Your Leadership
I spent the weekend traveling for my daughter’s soccer games.
Now, here's something you should know about me: I'm pretty competitive. (Okay, really competitive.)
Early on in my girls' youth sports journey, I had a tendency to say a little too much from the sidelines. Lots of cheering. And lots of unsolicited (but obviously very helpful 😉) feedback.
So, I decided to become a coach.
Coaching turned out to be a great way to channel my competitive energy into something more productive. Instead of shouting instructions at my own kids from the sidelines, I focused on encouraging the whole team and intentionally helping these young athletes develop their skills and confidence.
Surprisingly, I actually said less as a coach than I did as a parent—probably because I was much more mindful of how I was leading.
Eventually, my girls outgrew my coaching expertise, so I returned to the sidelines. And now I continue working on being the best sideline parent I can be. Admittedly, it’s a work in progress.
After a full weekend of soccer, I was reminded that there are all kinds of personalities on those sidelines. (You know exactly what I’m talking about.)
And while it’s easy to recognize the less-than-helpful behaviors in other people, it’s a little harder to recognize those same tendencies in ourselves—whether we’re parenting from the sidelines or leading a team at work.
So, I thought it would be fun to play a little game:
Which sideline personality shows up in your leadership?
(For the record, we’ve got a pretty great group of parents on our team. I’m drawing from years of sideline experiences here.)
Ready? Let’s play…
1. The Sideline Critic
"Pass the ball!" "Shoot!" "Drive up the line!"
This parent has an opinion about every move and isn't shy about sharing it.
As leaders, we can fall into the same trap. We see a better way to do something, so we jump in with feedback or instructions. Again. And again.
Before long, our people stop thinking for themselves because they know we'll tell them what to do anyway.
Ask yourself: Am I helping my team make better decisions, or am I making all the decisions for them?
2. The Constant Cheerleader
"Great job!" "Keep going!" "You've got this!"
I’m a big fan of words of encouragement, but when they’re nonstop, even positive commentary can become distracting.
Leaders can do this, too. We want to be supportive, available, and encouraging. But sometimes our constant presence and input make it harder for people to focus and find their own rhythm.
Ask yourself: Is my encouragement actually helpful, or am I creating unnecessary noise?
3. The Rescuer
This parent sees their child struggling with playing time, a difficult teammate, or something the coach said. Rather than encouraging their child to have that conversation, they march right over to the coach to handle it.
As leaders, we can do the same thing. We step in to resolve conflicts, have difficult conversations, or advocate for our employees when they could be learning to do those things themselves.
Of course, there are times when intervention is necessary. But when we consistently step in to solve problems for others, we may unintentionally prevent them from developing the confidence and skills to navigate challenges on their own.
Ask yourself: Am I helping my team navigate challenges, or am I navigating those challenges for them?
4. The Silent Spectator
This parent rarely says a word. No cheering, no encouragement, no feedback. They're physically present, but it's hard to know what they're thinking.
As leaders, we sometimes believe that if we don't have anything to say, that's a good thing. No news is good news, right?
But silence leaves room for assumptions. When employees don't hear from us, they may start wondering: Am I doing a good job? Is my manager unhappy with me? Am I meeting expectations?
What we intend as giving people space can unintentionally create uncertainty and anxiety.
Ask yourself: Does my team know where they stand with me, or am I leaving them to fill in the blanks?
5. The Blame Shifter
"It's the ref's fault!" "Did you see that call?" "Of course they're winning. Look how big those kids are!"
There's always a reason things aren't going well, and it's usually someone else's fault.
Leaders can fall into this trap, too. We blame another department, difficult customers, upper management, or circumstances outside our control.
And while some of those obstacles are very real, constantly focusing on them can leave our teams feeling powerless instead of empowered to make a difference.
Ask yourself: When things don't go our way, do I help my team focus on what we can control, or reinforce all the reasons we can't succeed?
6. The Postgame Analyst
The game is over, but the feedback isn't.
On the car ride home, this parent replays every missed opportunity, questionable decision, and mistake.
At work, we can be so focused on helping people improve that we rush straight into what they could have done differently.
And we forget to celebrate what went well or ask for their perspective before sharing ours.
Ask yourself: When something is finished, do I lead with appreciation and curiosity, or immediately jump to critique?
So, which one are you?
Here's the thing: I don't think most of us fit neatly into just one category.
As you can probably tell from my own sideline confessions, I can recognize a little of myself in several of these personalities!
And most of these behaviors come from a good place. We want people to succeed. We want to help them improve. We want to protect them from failure.
But our desire to help doesn't always mean we're actually being helpful.
The most effective coaches know when to teach, when to encourage, when to correct, when to ask questions, and when to step back and let their players play.
They understand that their job isn't simply to influence what happens in the next game. It's to develop players who grow in confidence, capability, and independence over time.
The most effective leaders do, too.
So this week, consider which sideline personality tends to show up most often in your leadership.
And more importantly, is that what your team needs from you?